Tuesday, September 24, 2013

From Danica to Van Damme: GoDaddy Ads Grow Up

Article written by Jerry Matheson

Super Bowl XLVIII is still more than four months away and we already know more about the commercials than who will be representing the AFC and NFC next year. GoDaddy, the web hosting company known for sexy models and awkward, audible make-outs, is leaving behind the provocative Danica Patrick for a lightly humorous (and still ridiculously flexible) Jean-Claude Van Damme.
GoDaddy was famous for its controversial and polarizing Super Bowl ads, but like all teenagers, it decided to grow up and move on to a tamer and more family-friendly approach to advertising.

There's no doubt a flute-playing Van Damme is funny, but we'll miss GoDaddy's early days and memorable commercials. We couldn't forget some of them even if we wanted.

Bar Refaeli Makes a Nerd Happy

It's a commercial so unsettling it probably makes GoDaddy CEO Bob Parsons cringe. Israeli supermodel Bar Refaeli sucks face with "Walter," a frizzy, red-headed tech support geek for an uncomfortable and silent 10 seconds (with closeup camera work and all). The clip is difficult to watch, but it certainly went down as one of GoDaddy's most memorable Super Bowl spots.

Bad Driver, Sexy Pilot

Poor Danica can't get respect on the track, but it looks like she's doing a fine job. For the majority of GoDaddy's Super Bowl domain, Danica was the front woman for the company. When she wasn't competing for Indy and NASCAR titles at 200 mph, she was dressing in bikinis for an audience of millions.

Two Girls, One Massage

Ah, the "See the unrated version at GoDaddy.com" teaser at the end of each commercial. Many of us went, all of us were let down. The television versions of these commercials led us to believe that somehow we could see a topless woman on GoDaddy's website and we were stupid enough to fall for it. As you can see from the clip above, an exotic dance and dip in the pool is all we got.

Oh, Hello Miss Michaels

To keep GoDaddy's "sexy" reputation fresh, it brought on Biggest Loser star Jillian Michaels to co-star with Danica Patrick. By the time GoDaddy had enough with its scandalous image, its commercials were featuring at least three or four women just to give viewers something new. By the time it was all over, the women were gone and replaced by one of the manliest dudes on the planet — Van Damme himself.

Jerry Matheson Jerry is a die-hard Brewers fan from Wisconsin who loves writing about sports and baseball.

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