Monday, March 19, 2012

How to Downgrade Your NFL Team in Three Easy Steps

Sun Life Stadium 2011
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Sportmentary has the magic formula on how to downgrade your NFL team in three easy steps. The only problem is that currently there is only one NFL team that has it figured out.

The first step is that you have to be the Miami Dolphins. So only one team fits that bill. Miami came into the free agency season claiming that they would make a splash. The problem is that the splash has just turned into drowning. I didn't realize that Dolphins could drown so easily. The Dolphins management is made up of idiots. I think a bunch of third graders could do a better job.

The second step is trading your best wide receiver and getting nothing in return, leaving your receiving corps in shambles and disarray. The Dolphins traded Brandon Marshall as their first attempted move this free agency season. They did this while trying to court Peyton Manning. I know Marshall has had his issues but it's not as if the Dolphins are know for only having choir boys on their roster.

I know Manning is great but he can't throw to himself. He needs a receiver. The Dolphins failed to recognize that fact. Did they think Manning could be their starting quarterback and receiver? Nothing would surprise me with this garbage management team. They're not fit to run an NFL franchise.

The final step in downgrading your team and more specifically your offense is by the alleged signing of David Gerrard. The Dolphins have definitely outsmarted themselves this time. When idiots think too much, this is the result you get. If Gerrard really is the team's future quarterback, the team is in big trouble.

This isn't the splash that this Dolphins fan was expecting. The Dolphins did try to lure Peyton Manning to the team but I'm sure it didn't take too long for him to realize that he would be playing for a circus and not a legitimate NFL team. So it came as no surprise to me when the Dolphins were the first team he turned down.

The next step in the team's attrempt in signing a free agent quarterback for was trying to convince former Green Bay Packers backup Matt Flynn to sign with the team. Apparently the Dolphins gurus low balled the guy and he decided to sign with Seattle.

Then we heard that Alex Smith, the free agent San Francisco 49ers quarterback was meeting with the Dolphins. Apparently they were in contract discussions. I'm guessing the gurus figured out a way to piss off Smith, so they felt they had to sign someone. They decided on Gerrard.

Another note to idiots: Tim Tebow will be on the trading block. Do you think you could have made a move in an attempt to sign him? Of course not. That might mean that Dolphins fans might get interested in your joke of a team. Granted, Tebow has a lot of learning and improvement to do but anything is better than Gerrard.

What makes this signing even more ridiculous is that Matt Moore is the better option at the quarterback position. He had a decent year, finishing the 2011 NFL campaign ranked 12th in passing. Gerrard is an ex-Jacksonville Jaguar and a former starter. The emphasis is on the word former.

There you have it. Three easy steps to downgrade your NFL team. Amazingly, only one team has figured out how to do it. My guess is that they're not Harvard graduates but I might be wrong.

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